Finding the Wonder

Recently, I read a blog called How Do You Write Your Name in the Land?.  It was a great blog to read and it made me look back and reflect over my time living in Latin America, which includes Costa Rica and now Ecuador, and to see how I've slowly have begun to write my name here.  

I never realize how much of a country girl I was until I was thrown into the city life of a foreign country.  In Costa Rica, I lived in the suburbs of San José.  I struggled with all the houses so close together.  All the bars and gates.  I felt like I was being closed in on.  My country heart grieved and lamented.  There were so many days (too many that I'd like to admit) that I disliked where I was at.  Had it not been for the incredible mountain view that I was able to stare at every day, I would have gone stir crazy.   

I had never seen such splendor as those mountains!  Sometimes after school, I'd sit in one of the parks nearby and stare at them, trying to loose myself.  The mountains comforted and calmed my heart.  Those mountains were an amazing gift from God during my time in C.R.

Then I came to Guayaquil, Ecuador.  A much larger city than I had been living in C.R.  Noise. Traffic. Traffic. Traffic!  Exhaust. Filth. Smells. Cement. Concrete.  So many people!!!!  You have got to be kidding me!!  It was overwhelming. 

All over again, my heart grieved and ached for something that remotely resembled the country.  It seemed as if I was always searching for something to fill that void.  And had it not been God that brought me here, I would have left.  

But many years ago, I made a decision to follow Jesus and this is where He led me.  

I'm not going to talk about all the tears that were shed or the pity parties that I threw myself.  But through all of that, God slowly opened and is continuing to open my eyes to see the wonder of this crazy city.  

I love living near the airport.  One of my favorite things is watching the planes take off.  I have no idea why, but i find it exhilarating.  

Reading the billboards while I drive.  (most of the time, traffic is congested and slow enough for me to read them.)  I find this entertaining in the mist of all the craziness that is traffic.   

Out my window is a view of some houses painted in a variety of colors.  Sometimes I just stand and peer out my window.  

The Historical Park isn't too far away from where I live.  I like going there.  It's quaint and completely lovely.  I love the flower gardens.  All the bushes, trees and flowers bring my mind to the country.  This place is peaceful.

I love the people here.  I love my teammates and see them more as family than just co-workers.  I love the people at the churches that I work with.  They are so kind and always greet me with smiles.  And I love my landlords!!!  They've been so helpful, encouraging, laugh at my attempts to be witty and share my disdain for pigeons.       

I LOVE the kids!!!  Saturday mornings are my favorite part of the week here.  Hearing kids call my name and attack me with hugs.  Hearing them laugh and sing.  And holding their hands as I walk them home.  Some days, I wish every day could be Saturday morning. 

I love driving through the Andes Mountains.  Once a month, I drive to a town tucked in the mountain range and I look forward to this drive every single time....unless it's foggy.   This drive is hands down!! the most incredible drive!!   It's impossible not to praise God the Creator.  Most of the time, I don't want to be the driver.  Too much to look at, to soak in and marvel in the awe and majesty of who God is!!  



There will always be things I miss about the rolling hills of beautiful Pennsylvania.  But this place is home.....even if it does still drive me crazy at times.  Those nuggets of wonder is what makes it what it is in my heart and makes me feel content.     



    

Pie

Truth be told, if I were given the choice to eat cake or pie, I'd pick cake.  

I remember the first pie I ever made was when I was 9 (I think).  I had to make a complete meal, including dessert, for a merit badge for Girl Scouts.  I have no idea what I made for the meal, but I do remember that I made apple pie for dessert and that it wasn't the current recipe that I use now.  

I do remember times when my mom would buy store pie crust.  Until one year she stumbled across the most amazing pie crust recipe and she hasn't turned back.  

As a teen, I'd help my mom make pies for Thanksgiving, but I never wanted the job of making crust.  I think a few years ago, I made crust by myself for the first time and wasn't a fan, because I wasn't good at being really careful and patient with pulling the crust off the table.  

Then came language school in Costa Rica, where I  made more pies than I ever had in my entire life.  I taught myself the art of being careful and patient with the crust.  With each pie I made, I'd get more and more excited with how the crust would turn out and it made me want to make more pies.  I'd look for opportunities to make pie or make up reasons to.

I can't even recall how many pies I've made in the last year and a half.  I've made a few lemon, one pecan and so, so, so many apple. I think apple pie has become "my thing". 
I've enjoyed eating pie with friends, sharing my apple pie recipe and even teaching others how to make it.  In doing so, I've discovered a great passion for pie.  

My friend, Rose, says that my passion for making and sharing pie with others is a gift.  Perhaps it is.  I do enjoy the whole process of making it, but I think it's because it's a way I can show love to those who I share it with.  

To those who pray.....

A fews weeks ago, I got an email from seasoned missionaries reminding me that "we (missionaries) are some of the most prayed people on the earth".   

That is definitely a humbling statement. 

I don't believe that just because I'm a missionary it makes me more special than anyone else.  Truth is, I'm just an ordinary woman following an extraordinary God and I just happen to live in a different country.

I also believe that without the prayer of so many....far more than I actually realize, I wouldn't have the strength to live this life.  So many days, I feel the prayers of the saints.  

Today would be an example of one of those days.  

The weather this past week has been strange.  It's the hot season right now.  Well, actually, it's always hot where I live, but it's more humid now.  With the heat and humidity comes rain.  It hasn't rained much lately.  After a couple of weeks without rain, it gets more humid and the air can be sometimes weird.  Dirt seems to be stirred up more and it can bother my allergies.  

That's what I thought was bothering me this week - my allergies.  Nothing a little Claritan and Benedryl couldn't clear up.  However, I wasn't feeling any relief.  By Wednesday I was feeling a bit "off", but thought by the next day I'd be "up to par".  Thursday, I felt about the same with some tightness in my chest.  Honestly, I was annoyed.  

For nearly a year in Costa Rica I felt like I did on Thursday and I did not want to go through that again.  It was annoying and tiresome.  

Yesterday came and same story.  I was determined to finish my Bible lesson for today's kid's program and be ready for that.  As the day went on yesterday, I wasn't feeling too hot.  Actually, I was hot.  My face felt hot, but I didn't have a fever.  I felt like my chest was warm and congested and well, I wasn't feeling too great.  I had been taking over the counter medicine and nothing seemed to work.  

One of the perks of living in Latin America is that you can go to any local pharmacy and get antibiotics without a prescription.  I walked down the street from my house and was able to get a weeks worth of  Amoxicillin for $5.  I took some when I got home and went to bed determined to feel better to go this morning to the church plant.  

I woke feeling rather crummy.  I was disappointed that the only place I'd be today was my bed.  But in the midst of my day, not feeling the greatest, God was there.  Stirring my heart up for the things He has in store for me and being reminded of some of the many who back me up in prayer.  I prayed many times throughout the day to feel better for tomorrow, so I could join my brothers and sisters in Christ at church.  

I believe some of the many have been praying for me today.  I seem to be feeling a bit better.  I'm not 100%, but I'm feeling better than I did just hours ago.  And I'm so grateful!  

To many who pour out your heart in prayer, Thank You!  Not just for praying today, but for praying every day.  I speak for all missionaries.  You'll never know the fullness of our appreciation.  It's mighty humbling to have you take time to pour your heart to the Almighty God on our behalf.  But there's absolutely no way we could live without that prayer.  Please, keep lifting us up before the Father!!   Your prayers are the fuel that gets us through the rough spots of life, the days we're not feeling well, the times when we're missing our "old" life, and keeps us focused on the task at hand - being Light to the lost.  You are more a part of our ministry than you think and we could not live life without you!!      

Gaining ground and the stumbles along the way

About a year and half ago, I started one of the hardest journeys of my life.....learning another language.  So many people say that spanish is an easy language to learn.  Perhaps it's easier to learn that a lot of other languages, but still learning it isn't necessarily easy.  Well, at least it hasn't been for me.  

My year at language school was a hard one.  One filled with almost daily occurrences of stress and anxiety.  And let's not forget fear.  I dreaded speaking this new language I was learning.  When asked a question, I would freeze with the deer in the headlights look. 

My biggest moments of fear came the last few months of language school.  I was still struggling to communicate effectively and knew my time there was drawing to an end and I'd be headed to Ecuador to do ministry and the world of spanish would be become so much larger.  

I came to Ecuador with the same stresses and new ones were added to my life.  I admit that I still dreaded speaking.  New anxieties came.  The spanish accent was different and people spoke so fast. I had such a hard time figuring out what they were saying.  How was I to come alongside to build relationship and minster to these people?  

In December I had to return to the States because of some visa problems and ended up being there for two months.  During that time, I asked God to intervene and remove all the stress, anxiety and fear that I've been experiencing.  I wanted to find joy in the midst of spanish.

The Lord is faithful always!

I returned to Ecuador a bit nervous since I had been out of spanish land for 2 months.  But God answered my prayer.  All the fear, stress and anxiety was no longer there.  And I've been learning to find joy in the midst of spanish.  

Granted I still make so many mistakes when it comes to speaking.  And often have to take the long way around to say something.  But it doesn't stress me out.  

There are moments where I don't understand everything.  Like this morning I was talking with my friend about the economy and social groups in Ecuador and I got some of what she was saying, but not all of it.  (I was thankful for my digital recorder that got it all and I can go back and listen to it later to put the pieces together.)

I still stumble a lot.  But each day, I'm gaining a little bit more ground.  

I'm still learning to let go of my weakness to let God shine more.   Each day I'm making progress here too.  

Learning spanish has been so much more than actually learning a language.  It's been full of opportunities for God to refine and purify me.  

For Him to chisel away all the garbage and things I seem to hold on to for too long, like fear, stress and anxiety.   

My God is greater than all those things.  So. much. greater!!   He offers peace and freedom.  Which makes me wonder why I tend to focus on stress.  I have no clue.  

I don't claim to have it all together, but I do desire each day to make strides to gain more ground.  Yes, in spanish, but more so in my walk with God.   I'd rather be known of a woman that desired to pursue His heart than one who spoke spanish very well.  

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.  Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it.  But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.   Philippians 3:12-14

Needing More

I need more of Jesus.  

Every minute of every day.  

My life isn't much of a reflection of Him, if I'm not continually allowing Him to refine me.  

Lent starts tomorrow.  I do like the practice of Lent - sacrificing something because Jesus' great sacrifice.  

Lent this year is taking on the form of me just wanting to strive for a deeper sense of health in all areas of my life.  

There are areas that I'm really weak in and I desire to grow stronger in and gain a deeper level of discipline.  

There are still areas that I desire complete victory in.  I've made good strides in those areas, but I need the victory.    

I need to resist the urge to be the people pleaser that I can sometimes be.  

I need to step out with more courage.  God has been doing a work already in my life in regards to taking away my fear of speaking Spanish (finally!!!), but I need to become more bold in life and searching for challenges that will help me grow....in all areas of life. 

I need to spend less time with social media.  I admit that I do like social media, because it helps me connect with family and friends thousands of miles away.  But ever notice how much it can be a time waster and even be an energy sucker?   I've been feeling it and need to cut back.  

I need find more quiet moments of reflection, meditation and prayer throughout my day.  Those are the true balms to the soul, especially when joined with God's Word.

Basically, I just need more of Jesus. 

  

Gem Discovery

One of the things that can be challenging living in city of a few million people is that there are no green, wide open spaces.  I knew it would be a challenge.

I have many missionary friends and love looking at their pictures.  It keeps be somewhat connected to their lives and I can live their adventures with them.  Many live outside of a city somewhere and surrounded with beautiful, flowing greenness.  Some have yards with trees.  Can I admit this has been a bit of a struggle for me?  I don't want to be jealous of their surroundings.  But I admit, it's been hard not being jealous.  I'm happy for them, but my selfishness for the comfort of some resemblance of nature, creates in me a want for what they have. 

For weeks, I've been praying that God would give me a place of refuge in the midst of this city.  A place where there's some beauty of creation.  A place where the city noises seem to fade.  I can breathe, melt and be renewed.  

Yesterday morning, (since the church I was going to was in the evening) I went on a drive not too far from my apartment.  I knew there was some kind of park nearby and wanted to check it out.  

This was the bridge at was part of what I thought was the park and what actually was a board walk.  It was quite lovely and as I walked over it, I felt myself relaxing.  (I tried not to breath in too heavily since the water smelled.)  I sat for only a moment and decided to keep walking to see what it all looked like.

The view from the bridge

There were several small parks and sitting areas along the boardwalk. 

This ended up being a really good find and a blessing.  It's not necessarily wide open spaces, but it is definitely lovely and I'm thankful for it.  I believe God answered my prayer and helped me discover a gem in the midst of the city.  

  

After midnight ramblings

It's well after midnight and I can't seem to sleep.  The night is mostly quiet, with the exception of some guy in the park sawing a pipe.  Not sure why his work is so pressing at this hour, but maybe it's the night guard and he needs some work to keep him awake.  Who knows.  

I lay in bed looking out my window, wishing the city sky was dark enough that I could see stars.  But alas, it's not.  I miss stars.  

Skies full of stars has to be one of my favorite things.  Many a night throughout my life, I've spent star gazing.  My favorite skies have been when I was in Africa.  I've never seen so many stars in my life before going there and I haven't seen as many since.  

Africa holds a special place in my heart.  And it's funny years before going there, I never would have wanted to go.  But after being there, I have a love for that place that won't go away and it makes my heart smile.  

It's the beauty of the land.  The unique trees.  Red, dusty soil.  Colorful flowers.  The people.  Yes, definitely the people!!!

God melded my heart with so many dear ones there.  I cherished the fellowship we had and the friendship we still share.  

So many memories.  Laughs.  Tears.  Handshakes.  Hugs.  Smiles.  Singing! 

Learning about ministry.  Being stretched.  Growing deeper in Christ.  Praying Psalm 25:4-5 over and over again.

My life there was only for a brief season over 10 years ago. 

Now, here I am in another season of life in another country.   

I'm looking forward to making memories.  Learning to love a new place and the people.  Already, God is melding my heart to some here.

I have so many things to learn about ministry.  I know I will be stretched.  I want to continue to grow deeper in Christ.  Again, I find myself praying Psalm 25:4-5

Show me your ways, Lord, teach me your paths. Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.