After midnight ramblings

It's well after midnight and I can't seem to sleep.  The night is mostly quiet, with the exception of some guy in the park sawing a pipe.  Not sure why his work is so pressing at this hour, but maybe it's the night guard and he needs some work to keep him awake.  Who knows.  

I lay in bed looking out my window, wishing the city sky was dark enough that I could see stars.  But alas, it's not.  I miss stars.  

Skies full of stars has to be one of my favorite things.  Many a night throughout my life, I've spent star gazing.  My favorite skies have been when I was in Africa.  I've never seen so many stars in my life before going there and I haven't seen as many since.  

Africa holds a special place in my heart.  And it's funny years before going there, I never would have wanted to go.  But after being there, I have a love for that place that won't go away and it makes my heart smile.  

It's the beauty of the land.  The unique trees.  Red, dusty soil.  Colorful flowers.  The people.  Yes, definitely the people!!!

God melded my heart with so many dear ones there.  I cherished the fellowship we had and the friendship we still share.  

So many memories.  Laughs.  Tears.  Handshakes.  Hugs.  Smiles.  Singing! 

Learning about ministry.  Being stretched.  Growing deeper in Christ.  Praying Psalm 25:4-5 over and over again.

My life there was only for a brief season over 10 years ago. 

Now, here I am in another season of life in another country.   

I'm looking forward to making memories.  Learning to love a new place and the people.  Already, God is melding my heart to some here.

I have so many things to learn about ministry.  I know I will be stretched.  I want to continue to grow deeper in Christ.  Again, I find myself praying Psalm 25:4-5

Show me your ways, Lord, teach me your paths. Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. 

Ah, the lovely sounds of a.....chainsaw?

I live in Guayaquil, Ecuador.  It's a big city.  It can measure up to most cities in the States, but still has it's distinct differences since it's in a different country. 

Have I ever mentioned I'm not a city girl?  Well, I'm not.  Far from it, actually.  But where God plants me, there I'll be and be content because He is in control and has a plan.

Thankfully, the location of my apartment is not centrally located, but there are houses all around me.  I don't noticed city noises during the day.  It can sometimes be quiet.  I can hear the wind.  Birds chirping. Dogs barking.  And for a few days, I've been hearing a rooster crowing from somewhere in the neighborhood. 

Sometimes at night, I can hear the sounds from the highway, that's not too far off.  The airport isn't far away, so I can hear planes as they fly over head.  Last night, I watched at least 3 fly off into the sky.  

Yesterday afternoon, I was pleasantly surprise to hear a sound I know very well.  Growing up in the country of PA, it's a sound I heard quite a lot, especially in the fall of the year.  A chainsaw.

It's kind of funny how comforting hearing a chainsaw was yesterday.  I never thought a chainsaw could have a soothing affect on me, but it was lovely to hear.  I know, it's so strange.  But it's a sound I very rarely hear anymore, so maybe that's why.

There's a small park across the street from my apartment and a company of men are trimming the trees.  They worked for a few hours yesterday afternoon and around 9am this morning were back to tackle another big tree.  

Hearing them at 9am, running a chainsaw at full speed, would probably being annoying to most.  But, I was delighted to hear that blessed sound once more.  

Unsettled

Silent.  That is how my thoughts on paper seem to be.  There have been so many times I thought I should blog, just because it has been awhile, but nothing comes to mind.  Even now, I'm not entirely sure what words I'm going to write or even if it'll make sense.  But let's see where I end up, shall we?

If you were to ask me right now, "How do you feel?", I'd probably say "unsettled" and"I could really go for some peanut butter."  

Wanting peanut butter just came over me about 1/2 hour ago and I really should stop thinking about it, so my want of it doesn't increase.  

My "unsettled" feeling isn't because I'm not content.  I am content.  I'm in the center of God's will.  

I'm unsettled because I'm not in my 'home' yet.  

Four weeks from yesterday (Sept. 9), I moved to Ecuador.  I will call this country "home" for nearly the next two years....and more if God sees fit.  I have yet to unpack my bags.  I'm still living out of suitcases.  I'm in my 3rd temporary resident, which is a hotel room.  I've been here for a week and will be here for a few more days.  

I'm ready to settle in my apartment.  I do have one.  I'm not just able to move in yet.  Soon though.

Earlier today I was thinking about the unsettled feeling that I'm having and wondered if that's how God desires us to live here on earth.  As a follower of Christ, this place isn't to be permanent. 

I wonder if there should always be lingering thoughts of being unsettled and homesickness for my heavenly home.  Thoughts that keep me focused on the mission Christ has given me to love others and show them the Gospel.  To be reminded in the storms of life that this is just temporary and all I have to do is ride out the waves until I go to be with Jesus.

I don't want to hold too closely to the places I call home.  Or become too comfortable with this life.  Because it will fade away some day.  

But the glorious thing is, it will fade away.  All the worries.  All the concerns.  Heartache.  Pain.  Poverty.  Pride.  Loneliness.  

It will all fade and restoration will be claimed.  

All things will be made new.  

Living in the fullness of the Glory of Father God will be attainable.  

And joy unspeakable will linger for all eternity.  

To be focused on these things is what I need to be reminded of.  I want to live a life unsettled.

So friend, be unsettled.  Follow Christ and dare to live an uncomfortable life on earth.