2012

I can't believe that it's the last day of 2012!  The year really flew for me.  I remember when I was a kid, time seemed to go so slow.  And I remember my parents telling me that the older I would get the more time would seem to fly.  They were right.

2012 was an amazing and incredibly hard year!  I'm beyond thankful for all the lessons God taught me, but I don't think I'd want to go through this year again.   

A window into my world this year......
The beginning of the year started out well.  February came and I found myself in Florida doing support raising.  God moved and provided during that trip.  And a lot of people in my life don't know about this (with the exception my parents and some really close friends that were praying), but I met someone.  It was brief....and well, let's just say, it didn't work out.  Even though it was brief it was still heartbreaking.  The enemy used it to attack me and try to drive me away from the Lord.  However, the very opposite happened and I was driven into the arms of my sweet Savior.  I'm so thankful for His wonderful words of love during that time.  

I went to Ecuador for a one week trip and I was so thankful God worked it out.  I enjoyed my time with the church leaders, even in the midst of the language barrier.  I was able to hang out and color with some little kids at church and what a blessing that was!  It was my favorite thing about my trip.  

I was commissioned as a lay missionary of the Wesleyan Church in April.  And I finished up the last leg of my support raising and got the "go" at the end of June to apply for language school.  

My summer months were planned with many fun things to do with family and friends before I left for Costa Rica
*Pirates game with my brother and a friend of ours.  We ended up going on one of the hottest days of the summers (unplanned), and had incredible seats.  The Pirates almost won!
*Camping with some girlies at my favorite campground - so, so fun!!  We became firewood pirates. (don't worry, we didn't steal other people's firewood.  we just tried to get to vacated campsites before other campers did.)  Celebrated Kristen's birthday.  Went hiking.  Sang badly for fun.  Laughed a lot.  
*Went to 2 rodeos with my family.  Yes, I am a country girl.  :)  
*Saw my best friend from college.  It ended up happening almost at the last minute and I'm so glad that it did.  I love Jen!
*Went to two family reunions.  At the Deemer family reunion I became the official 'Go Fish Tournament Loser' for 2012.  I will proudly represent until 2013...when I will win.  Just sayin'.
*I helped out with 2 vacation Bibles schools.  This is my favorite thing about kids ministry!!!  One of the churches was a supporting church and the other was my home church. Loved every single moment!!!  I especially drank up every moment at my church's VBS.  It was my last full week at home and got to spend it with some of my favorite kids!!  They rock!

In August, I said many 'good-byes' to my family and friends and left for CR.  That was tough.  I can't dwell here, it makes me teary-eyed remembering it.   Whew. 

I started and finished my first trimester of language school.  Wow.  It was definitely good and hard.  My brain rebelled many times and left me often in tears due to frustration.  A lot of days I felt like I made absolutely no progress.  But other days, I felt boosted and encouraged because of what I learned.  

December brought a lot of moments where I've seen my progress.  My favorite person to talk to in Spanish is my Tica mom.  I've been able to talk with her on two different occasions up to  an hour or more.  Yesterday in church was the first Sunday I was able to sing a good portion of the music and understood sections in the sermon.  And just last night, I caught myself reading the Spanish directions on a microwave carmel popcorn bag and understood it.  Great day!

It's definitely good to reflect some of the events of the year, but I do not want to dwell there.  We are not meant to dwell in the past.  Yes, it is good to look back at what God has done and give Him praise for those things.  But God desires us to look forward to what's to come.  

One of my favorite verses is Isaiah 43:18-19. In the verses prior, God is reminding his beloved Israel of all the amazing things He has done for them.  Then comes in v. 18-19,

But forget all that - it is nothing compared to what I am going to do.  For I am about to do a brand-new thing.  See I have already begun!  Do you not see it?

God is constantly doing a brand new work in our lives.  And the most amazing thing is that He will always out-do Himself.  Only God.  He's incredibly beautifully.  

I want my eyes to constantly be open to see the new things God is doing in my life.  To see how He's changing me to make me more holy, just like His Son.  I want to embrace everything God has in store.....even the hard times.  Because I know through trials, God does incredible works.  In fact, I think that's when He does His best work.  

As I close out this year, my prayer is simple:  

                God, here am I.  I am Yours.  Move, Holy Spirit.  

Blessings to you, dear readers!  May you let God take the reins of your life and move in you in a way that He never has before.  May you be desperate for His presence.  And I pray that you see the brand-new thing God is about to do.  He's already begun it.  

Light

Last week, I went in search of lights for my Christmas tree.  I was thankful to find a set of white lights for 50% off.  I only paid $2 for them, which was great because I didn't want to spend a lot on lights.  I came home, pulled the lights out of the box to put on the tree and discover they were icicle lights.  Hmm.  Well, I didn't want to return them since I only paid $2 for them.  So, I scattered the icicle strands all over the tree.  I plugged them in and the tree didn't look bad at all.  Then the lights started blinking.  Hmm.  That kind of drove me crazy for a few days, but it doesn't really bug me anymore.  

(Had to be creative decorating it, since I didn't want to buy decorations. I put my Christmas cards from my family back home, small candy canes my mom sent me, my cookie cutters and two angel ornaments that were my Gramma's.)

Last night, I sat in the dark with only the Christmas tree lights on.  It was quite lovely.  My heart was drawn in to think about this Christmas.  Many things about it are different - first Christmas without my family, no snow or cold weather and I'm in Central America.  And I've been finding that this Christmas is quite simple.  Even in the midst of it being so different and simple, God's been reminding me of His steadfast presence in my life and the heart of what Christmas is - the celebration of the Jesus' first coming. 

Every December, God speaks to my heart about a different aspect of that first coming.  The past couple years, it's been "Immanuel".  Again at the beginning of the month, that message returned.  But in these past few days, it's the message of God's Light that has been stirring my heart.  

John 1:9 says, The one who is the true light, who gives light to everyone, was going to come into the world.

The True Light came over 2,000 years ago to penetrate the darkness of souls.  To teach us how to live, to change lives, to build a bridge between man and God.  And to ultimately become an atoning sacrifice. To give love, power, freedom and light to all who believe in Him. 

The Light is very personal and powerful.  This Light came to pierce the darkness of my heart and soul, to constantly change me, so that He will shine so brightly through me. Just the thought of God desiring to dwell within me and to use me in order to shine His Light so others see Him gives me chills.  

The Light of the World wants to shine through me.   My heart feels silenced, humbled and honored.  

Holy Father, thank you for sending Jesus.  Thank you for shinning your Light in the lives of many, so that your Name has been known and is continually becoming known in all the earth.  Thank you for shinning your Light in my heart, piercing the darkness, revealing to me all that needs to surrendered to Your Throne in order that your Light can shine brightly through me.  May all Glory be unto Your Name.  Continue to shine, Father!  



Hallelujah (Light Has Come) by BarlowGirl

Immanuel, God with Us

Immanuel, God with us.
A baby.  A Simple baby. So small.  So precious.
A baby that would change the world.
His birth drew many to Him.
His presence brought awe and wonder.

Immanuel, God with us.
Over 2,000 years ago, an amazing event took place.
God sent a message to a woman by an angel.
"Do not be afraid! You are going to give birth to a son."
In one moment, Mary's life was changed by God.

Immanuel, God with us.
An angel came to Joseph with a message.
"Do not be afraid! Take Mary as your wife.
Mary's baby will save many."
In one moment, Joseph's life was changed by God.

Immanuel, God with us.
Joseph and Mary traveled to Bethlehem.
The trip was long and tiring. They needed a place to stay.
They found a stable; it was time for the baby to be born.
In one moment, the whole world was going to be changed by God.

Immanuel, God with us.
A bright, shinning star in the sky leads three wise men to the baby.
Bringing gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh;
They bow down and worship the small Christ child.
In one moment, the wise men were changed by God.

Immanuel, God with us.
A child has been born to us; God has given a son to us.
He will be responsible for leading the people
He is Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, 
Prince of Peace.
His name is Jesus - He will save the people from their sins.
In one moment, our lives can be changed.

Immanuel, God with us!


*written several years ago for a children's ministry Christmas party  

My Immanuel

The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save.  He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.    Zephaniah 3:17

This is one of my favorite verses in Scripture.  I find so many beautiful things about it.  The inner lining truth weaved in every word is Immanuel. 

I love Immanuel.  I love how He whispers I am with you.  

His presence dwells and surrounds His children.  His presence captivates and beckons.

He did not come to dwell for no reason.  He came because we were in great need.  A need so great that only He could fulfill it.  He came to be our Mighty Savior.  

Mighty Savior, you are with us.   

This is beauty in and of itself.  How could it possibly get any better?  But it does...

This Mighty Savior who came to dwell among us takes great delight in us.  He quiets us with His love.  He rejoices over us with singing.   

I can hear Him whispering through those words, My love for you is immense, child.  

Can you hear Him?  

Can you feel your soul settling down in His presence?  And all the worries and concerns of the day just melting away?

In this moment, nothing else matters.  

I feel so completely moved.  

My intention was to write more.  But I have no idea how to even put my heart into words right now.  I'm praying that as you've read this, you've felt Immanuel sinking deep within your soul and heard Him speak.  It's His words that really matter, not mine. 

Holy Immanuel, thank you for dwelling.  

Tired of "Chit-Chat"

I am not a fan of 'chit-chat'.  Chit-chat seems so impersonal to me.  I feel like sometimes people only chit-chat because they are forced into a conversation and don't know what to talk about.  I think this is why I sometimes appear to be a quiet person.  It's not that I don't want to talk, it's just I don't want my conversation to be meaningless chit chat.  I'd rather go deeper and hear the heart of a person.  

I love people and hearing what makes them tick, even if they're not having a good day or are going through a hard season in life.  I want to hear their heart.  I want to hear their dreams, the things they long for, things that make them laugh and cry.....I want to hear their lives. 

This whole issue of 'chit chat' has become an obstacle for me being in Costa Rica.  I'm learning Spanish and I can only make chit chat.  This is driving me crazy!!  

Currently, I live in a Tico home.  My Tica mom is so, so sweet.  We talk a bit, but I can only ask her about her day and what she did.  We have talked about recipes a couple of times, which I have enjoyed because I love to cook and bake.  She makes me laugh in how she communicates to help me understand what she's saying.  I'm thankful for those times.  But I can't get to know her heart.  I can't get to know how she came to know the Savior.  I can't ask her what God is teaching her.  I can't ask her about her life and see how it's shaped and molded her into who she is.  I can only make chit chat with her.  For now, there's not much I can do about it and that's a huge frustration for me.

How long will it be before I can get to know her better?  How long will it be before I can communicate on a heart level with any Tican?  Probably a little while longer.  Sigh.

I can't wait for the day that I can communicate in Spanish on a deeper level.  Until then, I'll just keep practicing chit chat and know that it will get better, I will learn more, and someday I will be able to have meaningful heart to heart conversations.  

My Constant Need

I can look over the past few months and see how different my life is.  Yes, my surroundings are different.  The culture is different and I'm starting learn how to communicate in a different language, but more about my life is different.  I am becoming different.  

This past summer, I started praying this:  

God, radically change my life!  Open my eyes to see your world in a way I've never seen it before.  Change the way I see Your Church (His Body) and give me a deeper love for it!  Constantly change who I am, so that I can be the woman You want me to be.  Give me the courage to hold nothing back and become everything for You and Your Glory.  

God's been working and completely striping me down of me.  Prior to C.R, I didn't think I had pride issues.  Now, I feel like I'm coming to God often (more times than I'd like to admit) in repentance and asking God to remove it from me.  God's been showing me the real me.  In the midst of showing me the real me, He's using that to make me into a better me.  Each time God reveals something to me that I need to surrender to His Throne is another time I say "Oh God, I need you!!" 

My need for Him has always been there.  Now though, it seems like this need has intensified and I am in desperation for Him.  There is much that can hinder me and there is an enemy that seeks to destroy me and take my focus from God.  I need to need Him!!!  

I think of the words of the hymn, I Need Thee Every Hour.  

I need Thee every hour, most gracious Lord;

No tender voice like Thine can peace afford.

    Refrain:

    I need Thee, oh, I need Thee;

    Every hour I need Thee;

    Oh, bless me now, my Savior,

    I come to Thee. 

I need Thee every hour, stay Thou nearby;

Temptations lose their pow'r when Thou art nigh.

I need Thee every hour, in joy or pain;

Come quickly and abide, or life is vain.

I need Thee every hour; teach me Thy will;

And Thy rich promises in me fulfill.

I need Thee every hour, most Holy One;

Oh, make me Thine indeed, Thou blessed Son

In the truest sense this hymn describes my heart!  I really do need Him every hour.  I could go even farther to say my need for Him goes down to each second.  Because I know without Him, I am nothing.  I also know that abiding in Him has been the greatest joy of my life and I want that to remain.

I never want my need for Him to go away. I want it to haunt me.  So, I'll continue to pray that God would radically change me.  In doing so, I'll constantly be faced with my need for Him.  

My Bucket List

Last night, I was eating supper with friends and the topic of a "bucket list" came up.  I was asked about mine.  My friend Jim joked "buy a bucket and make a list".  That would be a pretty easy bucket list.  :o)

Prior to this year, I never really gave much thought to a bucket list.  But in February, I was really driven to make one.  To be honest, I haven't really looked at my list in months.  But after last night's conversation, I decided to pull it out.  

At this stage, it's still not complete, but it's a really good start.  Here's the list, in no particular order:

*go white water rafting down the Zambezi River (in Zambia, Africa)

*go parasailing

*visit the Holy Land

*float in the Dead Sea

*put my feet in every ocean

*zip line in Costa Rica 

*visit the village in Ecuador where Jim Elliot and Nate Saint were murdered

*learn how to cook authentic Mexican food

*run a 1/2 marathon and finish

*eat flying ants in Zambia  

*swim with dolphins

*Dig and/or fund a well in Africa

*Visit the Great Wall of China

*Publish some of the things I've written

*Write a book & get it published

*learn how to play the guitar and piano

*ride an elephant

*feed a giraffe 

*visit the Grand Canyon

*hug a koala bear

*sing in the Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir for one of their prayer meetings

*pet a manatee 

*float in skydiving air tunnel

*see an active volcano

*snorkel in a corral reef area

*ride in a helicopter 

*hike the Appalachian Trail

*Travel to orphanages in Latin America, build relationships with the children, teach them how to tell stories, use their ideas to write a book(s), get it published and use the proceeds to help the orphanages financially.

I realize that some of the ideas are kind of silly, while others may seem crazy or impossible.  Maybe so, but God made me a dreamer.  You know what they say "dream BIG or go home".  I choose to dream Big.  I do believe all these things are possible and it'll be fun checking them off my list.  

My favorite thing about language learning

For any of you that have learned a language, what's been your favorite part?  Memorizing vocab that seems to be endless?  Conjugating verbs?  Practicing speaking?  Well, sad to say, I can't say that any of those are close to being my favorite.  Some days, I really don't mind any of those things.  Other days, well, I'd rather not talk about it.  I know that those days will get better.  They will get better, right?  I dream of a day where I wake up and all that I need to know about the Spanish language would just magically be present within my brain without me having to put much effort into it....but that is, alas, just a dream.

So, I press on in the day to day of learning this language.  Literally, I have to take it day by day.  I can only face the present day because I can't even bare to think about what struggles I'll have trying to communicate tomorrow. 

One of the many things I try to remind myself of is:  I am not alone in this.  I'm not the only one struggling to put sentences together or trying to figure out what syllable gets the accent.  I'm not the only one trying to figure out some kind of logic and/or pattern with irregular verbs.  I'm not the only who who gets a "deer in the headlights" look when asked a question, knowing an answer has to be given and I have absolutely no idea what was just asked.  Yes!  Yes, I am so thankful I am not alone.

This is my grammar class, along with our teacher.  I spend two hours with this group everyday.  Then another 2 hours with the ladies and different teachers. 

 

 

I wouldn't trade these people!  I don't think there's a day that goes by that we don't laugh and have a good time.  Somedays, okay, most days, I look forward to fun more than I do language learning.  We are learning together, sharing our lives, encouraging and building each other up and once awhile mastering a plan to distract our teachers just because we just can't handle Spanish anymore.  I'm thankful God put this group together; He knew we'd need each other.  These people are my favorite thing about language learning.

A Taste of Home

I've been living in San Jose, Costa Rica for one month now.  It's insane how fast that month has gone.  So, one month down, 11 to go...not that I'm counting down or anything.  (Really, I'm not counting.)  It's been an adjustment living in San Jose.  Things are just different here.  Different cultural norms and language.  Both will take some getting used to. And just as I get comfortable with them, I'll be off to Ecuador.  
One of the adjustments has been to city life because I'm a country girl.  I've lived on a farm my whole life, with the exception of college.  I love the country - so peaceful and quiet, not a lot of traffic, wide open spaces, clean air, huge skies full of stars....really, I could go on.  Now, this country girl is living in a city.  There's noise, vehicles everywhere (they're crazy drivers here), exhaust, houses are tight up against each other, with the exception of parks, there's not a lot of grass or trees.  Pardon me, I do have a small back yard that does have grass and trees.

I admit, I probably should count my blessing for having a backyard, not many people have them here.  But it feels cramped and is enclosed and just doesn't seem the same as back home.   

So, how does a country girl survive in the city?  Rely on the beauty of God and stare at the mountains every single day as I walk to school.

Without views like these, I honestly believe, I'd go mad.  God knew by putting me here in San Jose, I needed some views of nature.  I do miss the mountains of Pennsylvania (especially now, since it's autumn back home.), but the mountains here outdo the mountains back home.  

Even though I do get to see the mountains every single day, I still miss the wide open fields.  Yesterday I took a trip with some of the students at school to La Paz Waterfall Gardens.  I was excited to get away for the day, but I had no idea what was in store for me.....a taste of home.

As we drove out of San Jose, we ended up driving into another city - buildings, traffic, noise, blah.  BUT then we entered the breathtaking countryside.  As we drove there were miles of mountains, fields, grass, flowers, and trees everywhere!!  I could feel myself relaxing and my heart was glad.  I didn't realize how much I missed the country until I saw it!!

This is just a glimpse, a tease really, of what I saw.  Sigh.  I could live here.  I relished the views and tried to drink it in as much as possible, because the reality was it was only for the day.  I was in awe of this gift from God and felt that He went above and beyond to give me a taste of home.      

The Church

It's not the church most North American culture thinks of - the building, a structure or a club. No, it's much more than that! It's how it's supposed to be seen as: Christ's body of followers. Those whose hearts beat like His and desire to see the world come to know Him and become transformed for His Kingdom's sake. And those who have newly welcomed His grace in their lives and being made new and restored in Him. That's His body!
The church is alive because of Christ who breathes in us. It's a living organism, it grows and spreads. You could almost say that it is like an infectious disease. Once Christ takes root, you will be destroyed and will never be the same.
In viewing the church as the Body, it is no longer complex. It has become simplified in that there are only two commands that matter: love God and love others. Both are completely possible and are to be obeyed. When both are obeyed, amazing things happen. Those without Christ, see His light in the church and are drawn to it. The church is able to share the Good News of Jesus that is for EVERYONE: the afflicted, brokenhearted, the captives, the prisoners, the poor, the weary, and everyone in between. The church can transform whole families and multiply in communities. The church can strengthen and unite communities and even nations for His sake.
Because of Christ, the church is powerful. God uses it to change lives, families, communities, nations, the whole world! More than that, the church is empowered. It's because of Jesus' Commission and Commandment and the power of His Holy Spirit, that we, the Body of Christ, can touch the hearts of the world!
How beautiful is the Body of Christ and what a blessing to be a part of it!

Note: This was originally written as a reflective writing for a "Perspectives" course I was taking last fall.  Someday, I wouldn't mind getting it published!  Perspectives

Becoming Nothing

Wednesday evening I arrived in what's going to be home for the next year - San Jose', Costa Rica.  Naturally, I was exhausted.  It was a long day of cars, airports, layovers and planes.  I was just thankful to get to my Tica's house to crash. I woke up Thursday morning, wondering if I was ready for this new life - One where I don't know the culture norms, can't really understand or speak the language.  Ready or not, this is my new home.  In an instant, I realized I am nothing. 

Please don't misunderstand the statement "I am nothing".  It doesn't mean that I don't have value.  I know my life has value, purpose and I'm created in God's image.  In that regards, I am something.  :)   

In this new country, culture and language, I've been humbled.  Everything I knew has gone out the window and I have become nothing.  I must learn to speak all over again.  I must learn to walk and live in a new place.  This is not easy.  Who am I that I would think that it should be easy?  I came knowing that it would be very hard and challenging.  I came knowing that there would be frustrations.  In order to learn, I must become nothing.

Becoming nothing isn't a bad thing, just because it's hard.  Isn't that what Jesus did?  He became nothing so that we could know the love of the Father and come into a relationship with Him.  He came so we could have life and live it to the fullest.  In order to be like Jesus, we must become nothing.  We must deny who we are in order to follow Him.  

The meaning of becoming nothing has taken on a new meaning and I think I'm understanding it more.  This realization came on Friday morning, sitting at breakfast.  I started crying because I can't comprehend what my Tica mom says to me and I can't really communicate.  I told her that I was frustrated.  She told me, little by little I'll get there. (At least that's what I think she told me.)  

Little by little. 

This new life is a process.  Life in itself is a process.  If we claim to think we've master it all, that's dangerous and really, we've missed the boat.  I know I'm FAR from being a master at anything.  And really, I am okay with with that.  And I know I must become nothing because I know that it's necessary.  It's necessary in my walk with Christ.  It's necessary in learning a new culture and language.  

I have to become nothing

Soon, very soon

I mentioned in one of my earlier blogs that I'm living out (or close to) living out my childhood dream of being a missionary.  In 16 days (that will be here before I know it), I'll be leaving my hometown of Weedville, PA to fly thousands of miles to my new home for the next year, Costa Rica.  When I tell people the next year of my life will be spent in Costa Rica (C.R.), they usually say "poor you".  I'm excited about going there, but my life in C.R. will not be an extended vacation.  No doubt, I will be living up every moment, but it'll all be invested in learning Spanish and the culture of Latin America.  Learning a new language will have it's challenges and there will be days I'll probably want to curl up in a corner and cry my eyes out, but overall I'm believing that it'll be good and I know learning Spanish is quite necessary.  After my year in C.R., I will head to Ecuador to make it my home and share my life, my Jesus with the people there.  And I need/want to be able to do it all in their language.  This past February, I went to Ecuador for one week and I vividly remember the frustration that I felt not being able to communicate with them.  I could recognize just words and certain phrases, but not enough to understand what was being communicated.  I made up my mind then, I would do whatever it takes to learn Spanish.  And so, in 16 days that'll be my life.  I will be living with a host (Tica) family for the next year (that's the goal at this point).  My Tica mom does not know any English.  I know very, very, very little Spanish.  I'm sure we'll become quite the pair as I struggle to communicate with her.  The good news is she's been hosting students from the language school for 28 years, so she will understand the frustrations that I'll face.  She'll understand if I ending up crying because I'm not sure what she's saying.  She'll be patient with me and help me as I learn.  For that, I'm thankful and I'm looking forward to this experience. 

There's much to be done in the next 16 days, while I'm still at home.  But I don't feel frazzled, at least not at this moment.  I'm trying to get my things packed up for C.R. and get a jump start in packing for Ecuador. (I'll come back "home" after C.R. to get my visa for Ecuador, then head off.)  I'm savoring my moments with my family and friends.  I'm so thankful for their support and excitement as I'm starting a new chapter in my life, but I know many of them are dreading saying "goodbye".  I'm sure many tears will be shead over the upcoming days.  Perhaps I should keep tissues handy wherever I go.  :)

I've been waiting for so long for this and I almost can't believe the time is near.  Sixteen days.  Wow!  Soon, very soon. 

Can't take "STUFF" to heaven

For the past month, it's been my goal to go through all my belongings and get rid of things I no longer need and can live without.  Going to the mission field, it's just not possible to take everything, especially things that don't seem to serve any purpose any more....if they really held any high purpose to begin with. 
Again, as this week began, that was my goal.  It didn't happen Monday or Tuesday.  My motivation came Tuesday night, as I talked with my friend, Laura.  She called to talk to me about something church related then told me if I wanted to put anything in her yard sale this weekend, I could.  I was highly motivated. 
After running some errands on Wednesday morning, I dug in. Full steam ahead.  In fact, I was so motivated I was able to get through things in just a matter of 3 1/2 hours.  I could hardly believe the amount of "stuff" I accumulated over the years.  And might I add, "stuff" I haven't used in years.  I figured if I lived without it that long, I most likely will never use it.  I'm a sentimental person, so I tried to make sure that no memories were associated with these items. Thankfully, there really wasn't and that made it easier to get rid of it all.  In the yard sale pile it went.  
All afternoon, as I was going through these things, I kept giving myself talks, "Sheri, you really need to have a more simple lifestyle.  Be more practical in purchasing items."   That's the goal now - to be more practical and to "think simple". 
I took my unwanted stuff to my Laura's house and her daughter (Megan) was in the garage with us, as I was pulling my things out of boxes.  Megan wanted to see what "treasures" she could make her own.  Also in the yard sale were a lot of Megan's old toys.  She told her mom that there were things that she didn't want to get rid of.  Her mom told her, "You don't play with that anymore."  Megan tried to do some convincing, but her mom wouldn't cave.  I said to her, "You know, Meg, you can't take any this stuff to heaven with you."  And I thought, what a good reminder for myself. 
I can't take any of my stuff to heaven with me.  I really don't NEED a lot of things....just the basics.  Of course, there are things that are nice to have - my laptop, my iPod touch, my camera, my books (not many went in the yard sale), my pretty shoes, several pairs of sneakers, my pretty dresses and a closet & dresser full of clothes.  Could I live without these things?  I'd believe I could.  I think it's important that I believe that, because I can't keep it forever anyways....even those things that I am sentimental about.  
So, does that mean I will stop buying "stuff"?  Probably not.  But I will strive to really think about the purpose behind everything and aim not to be too impulsive with "meaningless" things.   
Be practical. Think Simple.  You can't take stuff to heaven.

Messages from God in Small Packages

Recently, I went to church on a Sunday morning and really didn’t want to be there.  That rarely happens to me.  I enjoy joining the Body of Christ in corporate worship.  It refuels my soul and deepens my love for the Savior.  However, on this particular morning, I just didn’t want to go.  I woke up not feeling the greatest, so I guess that would have justified if I decided not to go.  That morning I was substituting in one of the Sunday school classes, so I decided to tough it out and just go.  I made it through Sunday school and I felt like I couldn’t wait for church to be over. 
When I don’t feel well, I don’t like socializing.  Greeting time was coming up during the worship service, so I escaped to the ladies room.  After service, my goal was to get out of the building, talking to as few people as possible.   I made it to the car and shut the door, thankful that it guarded me from talking with the outside world.  Success!  Then, a 7 year old girl came over to the car.  I opened the door, wondering what she was going to tell me.  The first words that came out of her mouth were “I love you.”  Now, this isn’t the first time that’s she’d told me that and she knows that I love her too.  But when she said it on this day, I could hear the heart of God.  He was telling me through this 7 year old that He loved me.  I felt so moved and honestly wasn’t sure how to respond.  The words hit me very deeply.  I took a moment to ponder, then told her “thank you”.  (And I did tell her I loved her too.  She’s a great kid!)
This was the best part of going to church that morning!  And to think, if I wouldn’t have gone that morning, I would have missed out.  On the ride home, those words echoed in my heart and I felt lifted.   

For the Love of Writing

Writing is something that I love to do.  When I was a kid, I had a notebook that I wrote little stories in.  I remember that I wanted to be a writer someday (among other things).  When I started middle school, I stopped writing for fun.  I tucked away my notebook and never got it back out.  Last summer I found my notebook and read through it.  A couple of the stories made no sense and most of them were about a girl and her horse.  I guess that was pretty appropriate thing for me to write about as a little girl, since I grew up on a farm.  My stories were not that interesting or exciting, but I did find them to be cute.  For now they’re tucked away in a memory box and I’m sure when I’m an old lady, it’ll be fun to read them again.      

In college, I started journaling and that was something that I really enjoyed.  I have a stack of filled journals piled on the top of my bookshelf.   Journaling for me is purely enjoyable.  I love jotting down ideas or writing about the lessons God is teaching me and I find it therapeutic when I have a bad day.  From time to time, I pull an old journal off the shelf and read through it.  I feel like I’m morphed back in time, as I flip through the pages.  Some journals I enjoy reading more than others, but overall it’s neat for me to read through them to see how much I’ve grown as a person and in my writing style. 

Since college, one journal would last me a year or so.  (I think I was just stuck in a funk.)  However the past couple of years, I seem to be going through a lot of journals.  A lot has been going on and I don’t want to forget anything.  Even since the start of the year, I have done a lot of journaling.  Right now, I’m more than half way through writing in my second journal. Thankfully, a friend of mine bought me a big journal recently and I may need it sooner than I think. 

Even though I started journaling in college, I didn’t realize how much I loved writing until a few years ago.   The fall of 2009, God challenged me to write a Vacation Bible School curriculum for my church.  I wasn’t sure how that project was going to go when I first started it; it seemed like such a daunting task.  But it ended up being a wonderful time and I discovered a love for writing.        

Since then I write most of my own lessons for ministry and I’ve written stories for a couple of little girls at church.  I’ve loved doing that and I’m looking forward to more of it, because I just love writing.  My goal is to one day write a book and get it published.

I’m fairly new to blogging, but I’m hoping that this will be a creative outlet for me to write whatever seems to be on my mind, share lessons I’m learning, stories from growing up and any adventures I’m taking. 

Breathing for the Soul

Do you like to dream?   I love to dream!

How often do you dream?  If we were to talk about dreaming during sleep, I’d say that I dream at least a few nights during the week.  Maybe I do dream more often than I realize and just don’t remember.  When I do dream, it’s usually about the most bizarre things.  I often wake and wonder, “What on earth caused me to dream that?”  The dreams that I hate are the one where I dream I’m falling and I wake in a panic, trying to catch myself.  Then there are some pretty fabulous dreams that I end up waking up in the middle of, just when it’s getting really good.  I try to force myself back to sleep, hoping that my dream will pick back up where I woke at.  That never happens. 

How about other dreams?  Dreams of things you like to do or what you like to become?  How often do you let yourself dream those kinds of dreams? 

I think I was born a dreamer.  I remember when I was eight years old I had a dream to barrel race with my pony, Princess.  I loved going to rodeos and watching the cowgirls race around the barrels.  I thought it was so amazing and wanted to do it too.  I shared my dream with my Dad, who got some barrels and set them up in one of the fields.  I hopped on my beloved pony and headed for the first barrel.  It soon became apparent, that Princess didn’t share this dream with me and wanted no part of the barrels.  My dream ended at the first barrel. 

Then there was the dream of wanting to join “The A-Team” with my brother and our bikes.  We were going to change our names and everything – I was going to be Ralph and he was going to be Sandy.  (Why the name change and those choice of names?  Honestly, I have no idea.)  That dream nose dived.

A lot of my childhood dreams didn’t pan out.  They weren’t realistic.  I mean, what record label would want to sign a deal with a 7 year old who sings her lungs out to a Rainbow Bright cassette tape using a curling iron for a microphone?  Cute?  Maybe, yes.  And object for stardom?  Well, only in the hearts of my parents. 

My childhood dreams didn’t pan out, because they didn’t really hold a lot of substance.  There is one dream in particular that did hold a lot of substance and ended up defining my life.  It was a dream that came very early on; I was only about 3 or 4 years old.  And strangely it’s not even a dream that I remember talking about, but one my mom heard me talk about more than once.  The dream:  When I grow up I want to travel all over the world and tell boys and girls about Jesus. 

It’s pretty obvious that God stamped that dream on my heart.  The dream is two-fold: a heart of missions combined with a specific passion for children’s ministry.  Reflecting on this dream now, 30 years later, I see it has and is continually coming to pass.   I love, love, love living this dream!!! 

This dream is one that opens up so much dreaming within it.   What places do I want to travel to so I can tell children about Jesus?  I’ve already been to Zambia, Africa.  Soon, I’m headed to Ecuador, South America.  However, I don’t want to limit myself to just a couple places.....I want to go EVERYWHERE!!!!   And what I can do with children ministries in different places opens up a whole new dimension to this dream.  Pretty much, the sky is the limit!!  This is a dream I get to live the rest of my life!!!  The very thought of that gives me chills!

Dreaming about this dream or new ones that I find God placing on my heart is like breathing for my soul.  Breathing is something that is natural for us; we don’t even have to think about it - That’s how dreaming is for me.  However, some dreams do need some effort put in them, so think of it as your breathing during a brisk walk.  Then there are some dreams that require a lot more effort over an extended period of time.  It kind of reminds me of walking up or even running up a huge, long hill.  It’s hard work!  You’re huffing and puffing and at some points think you might die, but once you reach the top you feel so ALIVE!!!  Not matter how dreaming may come to me – easy or hard – the fact is, I love every minute of it!  Because the dreams God places in my heart are the ones I get to live out! 

I look forward to the dreams of today, tomorrow and the days ahead.  I hope I never stop dreaming.  Dreaming makes me feel so alive and I don’t ever want my soul to lose its breath. 

I. LOVE. DREAMING!

Gator Infested Waters

A few days ago, I was sitting near the water bank of the Gulf of Mexico (in Florida) and saw a gator poke its nose and tail out of the water.  I was so excited.  But it happened so quickly that I didn’t get a chance to grab my camera.  I found myself searching the water for it and just hoping that it would immerge so I could snap a pic, but it didn’t.  So, you’ll just have to take my word on it.  There was indeed a gator. J

There were some men fishing at the pier nearby and one of them jumped in the water.  I thought he was crazy!  I thought to myself, “Dude, there’s a gator in that water!” I then saw something had fallen in the water and begun to float away and he jumped in to get it.  I’m not sure that I could have been so brave to jump to get something that I had dropped in the water, especially knowing the danger that could be lurking below.  

For the most part, I have an adventurous spirit.  I love checking out new things, however the longer I live, I find that I’m becoming a bit cautious.  I wonder “what kind of danger is in this?”  Now, when I was a kid, I don’t think that question was anywhere in my frame of mind.  I was a curious, mischievous, bull in the china shop type of girl.  No doubt, I got myself in my share of mishaps and didn’t even consider consequences. 

My mind immediately flocks to the time I was 4 and wanted to see if my sneaker could swim.  I was outside playing and my mom went in the house for a minute.  It was then I believed I had found my golden opportunity to test this notion.  I lived on a farm and there was a huge, old bathtub in the field that filled with water from the spring so the animals could drink out of it.  I thought that would perfect place to see if my sneaker could swim.  I climbed down over the bank, snuck under the wire in the fence and got to the big ol’ bathtub.  I took my sneaker off and threw it in.  It floated until it filled up with water and started to sink.  Panic arose and I knew I needed to get the sneaker out before my mom came back outside.  In my effort to grab my sneaker, I fell in the tub.  Soaking wet, with sneaker in hand, I climbed up over the bank only to find my mom standing there.  Of course her question was “What are you doing?”  My obvious answer “I just wanted to see if my sneaker could swim.”  How could she possibly get mad at that?  Never once did I consider that I was 4 and was going into a field where animals were grazing.  I just wanted to see if my sneaker could swim.  I’m not sure what my punishment was that day; I most likely had some sort of “time out”.

I remember another time when my curiosity got the best of me and in one sticky situation.  I was in either 1^st or 2^nd grade.  My whole class went to the nurse’s office to get our eyes and ears checked or something like that.  We all sat on the floor until it was our turn came then we got to sit on this wooden chair with spokes in the back.  I ended up being the last one to get checked and all my classmates had been dismissed to go to lunch.  I was sitting in the chair and thought to myself “I wonder if I could get my elbows between the spokes in the back of this chair.”  That thought wasn’t enough; I had to actually try it out.  Success! My elbows fit!  My celebration of success in my head was soon replaced with panic, as I could not get them out!!  I was stuck.  The thought then came to me “Don’t squirm and the nurse will never know you’re stuck.”  So I didn’t squirm and she didn’t know I was stuck.  The nurse was done with my check up and said “okay you’re all done.  You can go to lunch now.”  I knew then I was in some serious trouble.  I started to cry, “I can’t go.  I’m stuck.”  She was a sweet nurse and tried everything to help me get my elbows out of the chair.  Nothing worked!  She ended up having to call the janitor to bring his chainsaw to cut me out.  With a pillow placed on my head, the nurse held my hand and tried to comfort me while I cried and I prayed “God, please don’t let the janitor cut my elbows off.”  Finally I was freed from the chair and the sweet nurse looked at me and said “Now, let’s not try that ever again.”  With a sniffle, I nodded.  Then I took my Strawberry Shortcake lunchbox and headed for lunch only to find out that I had missed my lunchtime.  Embarrassed and still teary-eyed, I ate my lunch without my classmates, only to tell my woes to the lunch lady.  That in itself was sufficient punishment. 

So why do we do such silly and careless acts without thinking of consequences?  For me it was just plain curiosity and wanting to test some theories, which failed miserably.  For the guy in the gator infested waters, it was just to retrieve his belongings.  I’m sure life will be full of things like these, which may cause us to scratch our heads and wonder why on earth we just did that.   We can always learn from our mishaps – sneakers don’t swim, elbows will get stuck in the back of a wooden chair, and look for gators in the water before jumping in.  These mishaps can be used to shape and mold us and quite honestly, can make for some interesting and funny stories. 

The Meaning Of It All

I love flowers.  Flowers are so interestingly beautiful.   Have you ever looked at the variety of flowers and noticed how detailed they are?  The shapes of their petals?  The length of their stem?  The colors throughout their petals?  I love looking at flower gardens.  I love watching the flowers blow in the wind.  As the wind blows, the flowers don’t all sway the same.  It’s quite beautiful to watch.  And the aroma! Well, honestly the aroma is something I could do without….allergies.  However, I love watching people enjoy the fragrance of flowers.  Sometimes people lean in close for a big whiff.  Other times, the flowers are so fragrant you don’t even have to lean in; you can actually stand at a distance and still smell the aroma.  Flowers are just beautiful.

People can be compared to flowers.  We are so interestingly beautiful and detailed.  We have different shapes, are different colors and we are not all the same height.  When the wind blows, we don’t sway the same way.  Together we are beautiful.  Because we are made in the image of God and we are fragrant with His love.   Sometimes you can lean in and catch the aroma of Christ and other times, you can be at a distance and still smell His aroma.

We are traveling on a road.  It’s a journey.  A journey that is full of twist and turns, hills and valleys.  Sometimes the terrain is rough and rocky.  Other times it’s easy and smooth.  There will times the road is flooded.  And other times when it is dry.  Regardless of what the road conditions are, there is one thing that is still certain, every bit is worth it.  It’s not the road that should be our aim.  It’s where the road takes us that is important. 

As a beautiful flower in God’s garden, I am traveling on a road that leads me to Him.  My grand destination is Heaven.  For now, God has given me a road to travel on earth.  It’s a wonderful journey full of twist, turns and surprises.   Sometimes it can be a little rocky; other times it’s smooth sailing.  There are days when the journey is flooded with God’s amazing goodness; then there are days when it’s dry.  Regardless of the road conditions, I wouldn’t change anything about the journey.  Every step of the way is worth it because I journey with the Father.   It’s wonderful to journey with the One who made me in His image and made me a flower on the road.