To those who pray.....

A fews weeks ago, I got an email from seasoned missionaries reminding me that "we (missionaries) are some of the most prayed people on the earth".   

That is definitely a humbling statement. 

I don't believe that just because I'm a missionary it makes me more special than anyone else.  Truth is, I'm just an ordinary woman following an extraordinary God and I just happen to live in a different country.

I also believe that without the prayer of so many....far more than I actually realize, I wouldn't have the strength to live this life.  So many days, I feel the prayers of the saints.  

Today would be an example of one of those days.  

The weather this past week has been strange.  It's the hot season right now.  Well, actually, it's always hot where I live, but it's more humid now.  With the heat and humidity comes rain.  It hasn't rained much lately.  After a couple of weeks without rain, it gets more humid and the air can be sometimes weird.  Dirt seems to be stirred up more and it can bother my allergies.  

That's what I thought was bothering me this week - my allergies.  Nothing a little Claritan and Benedryl couldn't clear up.  However, I wasn't feeling any relief.  By Wednesday I was feeling a bit "off", but thought by the next day I'd be "up to par".  Thursday, I felt about the same with some tightness in my chest.  Honestly, I was annoyed.  

For nearly a year in Costa Rica I felt like I did on Thursday and I did not want to go through that again.  It was annoying and tiresome.  

Yesterday came and same story.  I was determined to finish my Bible lesson for today's kid's program and be ready for that.  As the day went on yesterday, I wasn't feeling too hot.  Actually, I was hot.  My face felt hot, but I didn't have a fever.  I felt like my chest was warm and congested and well, I wasn't feeling too great.  I had been taking over the counter medicine and nothing seemed to work.  

One of the perks of living in Latin America is that you can go to any local pharmacy and get antibiotics without a prescription.  I walked down the street from my house and was able to get a weeks worth of  Amoxicillin for $5.  I took some when I got home and went to bed determined to feel better to go this morning to the church plant.  

I woke feeling rather crummy.  I was disappointed that the only place I'd be today was my bed.  But in the midst of my day, not feeling the greatest, God was there.  Stirring my heart up for the things He has in store for me and being reminded of some of the many who back me up in prayer.  I prayed many times throughout the day to feel better for tomorrow, so I could join my brothers and sisters in Christ at church.  

I believe some of the many have been praying for me today.  I seem to be feeling a bit better.  I'm not 100%, but I'm feeling better than I did just hours ago.  And I'm so grateful!  

To many who pour out your heart in prayer, Thank You!  Not just for praying today, but for praying every day.  I speak for all missionaries.  You'll never know the fullness of our appreciation.  It's mighty humbling to have you take time to pour your heart to the Almighty God on our behalf.  But there's absolutely no way we could live without that prayer.  Please, keep lifting us up before the Father!!   Your prayers are the fuel that gets us through the rough spots of life, the days we're not feeling well, the times when we're missing our "old" life, and keeps us focused on the task at hand - being Light to the lost.  You are more a part of our ministry than you think and we could not live life without you!!      

Gaining ground and the stumbles along the way

About a year and half ago, I started one of the hardest journeys of my life.....learning another language.  So many people say that spanish is an easy language to learn.  Perhaps it's easier to learn that a lot of other languages, but still learning it isn't necessarily easy.  Well, at least it hasn't been for me.  

My year at language school was a hard one.  One filled with almost daily occurrences of stress and anxiety.  And let's not forget fear.  I dreaded speaking this new language I was learning.  When asked a question, I would freeze with the deer in the headlights look. 

My biggest moments of fear came the last few months of language school.  I was still struggling to communicate effectively and knew my time there was drawing to an end and I'd be headed to Ecuador to do ministry and the world of spanish would be become so much larger.  

I came to Ecuador with the same stresses and new ones were added to my life.  I admit that I still dreaded speaking.  New anxieties came.  The spanish accent was different and people spoke so fast. I had such a hard time figuring out what they were saying.  How was I to come alongside to build relationship and minster to these people?  

In December I had to return to the States because of some visa problems and ended up being there for two months.  During that time, I asked God to intervene and remove all the stress, anxiety and fear that I've been experiencing.  I wanted to find joy in the midst of spanish.

The Lord is faithful always!

I returned to Ecuador a bit nervous since I had been out of spanish land for 2 months.  But God answered my prayer.  All the fear, stress and anxiety was no longer there.  And I've been learning to find joy in the midst of spanish.  

Granted I still make so many mistakes when it comes to speaking.  And often have to take the long way around to say something.  But it doesn't stress me out.  

There are moments where I don't understand everything.  Like this morning I was talking with my friend about the economy and social groups in Ecuador and I got some of what she was saying, but not all of it.  (I was thankful for my digital recorder that got it all and I can go back and listen to it later to put the pieces together.)

I still stumble a lot.  But each day, I'm gaining a little bit more ground.  

I'm still learning to let go of my weakness to let God shine more.   Each day I'm making progress here too.  

Learning spanish has been so much more than actually learning a language.  It's been full of opportunities for God to refine and purify me.  

For Him to chisel away all the garbage and things I seem to hold on to for too long, like fear, stress and anxiety.   

My God is greater than all those things.  So. much. greater!!   He offers peace and freedom.  Which makes me wonder why I tend to focus on stress.  I have no clue.  

I don't claim to have it all together, but I do desire each day to make strides to gain more ground.  Yes, in spanish, but more so in my walk with God.   I'd rather be known of a woman that desired to pursue His heart than one who spoke spanish very well.  

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.  Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it.  But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.   Philippians 3:12-14

Needing More

I need more of Jesus.  

Every minute of every day.  

My life isn't much of a reflection of Him, if I'm not continually allowing Him to refine me.  

Lent starts tomorrow.  I do like the practice of Lent - sacrificing something because Jesus' great sacrifice.  

Lent this year is taking on the form of me just wanting to strive for a deeper sense of health in all areas of my life.  

There are areas that I'm really weak in and I desire to grow stronger in and gain a deeper level of discipline.  

There are still areas that I desire complete victory in.  I've made good strides in those areas, but I need the victory.    

I need to resist the urge to be the people pleaser that I can sometimes be.  

I need to step out with more courage.  God has been doing a work already in my life in regards to taking away my fear of speaking Spanish (finally!!!), but I need to become more bold in life and searching for challenges that will help me grow....in all areas of life. 

I need to spend less time with social media.  I admit that I do like social media, because it helps me connect with family and friends thousands of miles away.  But ever notice how much it can be a time waster and even be an energy sucker?   I've been feeling it and need to cut back.  

I need find more quiet moments of reflection, meditation and prayer throughout my day.  Those are the true balms to the soul, especially when joined with God's Word.

Basically, I just need more of Jesus.