My Constant Need

I can look over the past few months and see how different my life is.  Yes, my surroundings are different.  The culture is different and I'm starting learn how to communicate in a different language, but more about my life is different.  I am becoming different.  

This past summer, I started praying this:  

God, radically change my life!  Open my eyes to see your world in a way I've never seen it before.  Change the way I see Your Church (His Body) and give me a deeper love for it!  Constantly change who I am, so that I can be the woman You want me to be.  Give me the courage to hold nothing back and become everything for You and Your Glory.  

God's been working and completely striping me down of me.  Prior to C.R, I didn't think I had pride issues.  Now, I feel like I'm coming to God often (more times than I'd like to admit) in repentance and asking God to remove it from me.  God's been showing me the real me.  In the midst of showing me the real me, He's using that to make me into a better me.  Each time God reveals something to me that I need to surrender to His Throne is another time I say "Oh God, I need you!!" 

My need for Him has always been there.  Now though, it seems like this need has intensified and I am in desperation for Him.  There is much that can hinder me and there is an enemy that seeks to destroy me and take my focus from God.  I need to need Him!!!  

I think of the words of the hymn, I Need Thee Every Hour.  

I need Thee every hour, most gracious Lord;

No tender voice like Thine can peace afford.

    Refrain:

    I need Thee, oh, I need Thee;

    Every hour I need Thee;

    Oh, bless me now, my Savior,

    I come to Thee. 

I need Thee every hour, stay Thou nearby;

Temptations lose their pow'r when Thou art nigh.

I need Thee every hour, in joy or pain;

Come quickly and abide, or life is vain.

I need Thee every hour; teach me Thy will;

And Thy rich promises in me fulfill.

I need Thee every hour, most Holy One;

Oh, make me Thine indeed, Thou blessed Son

In the truest sense this hymn describes my heart!  I really do need Him every hour.  I could go even farther to say my need for Him goes down to each second.  Because I know without Him, I am nothing.  I also know that abiding in Him has been the greatest joy of my life and I want that to remain.

I never want my need for Him to go away. I want it to haunt me.  So, I'll continue to pray that God would radically change me.  In doing so, I'll constantly be faced with my need for Him.